I like my teacher. Work, brains, and [holds up a cupcake] Hmm.. Bart: Hey! An hour later, a number of passengers... equal to half the number of minutes past the hour get off... but three times as many plus six get on. Closing the trap. Marge: These are for Lisa’s class. I got something to tell you. Marge calls to Bart and Homer, ``Come on, you two. Takes like 5 minutes. "I cheated on my intelligence test. If you don't stand up for yourself, bullies are gonna keep picking on ya for the rest of your life. Bart: Look, everybody, I just assume you won't make a big deal out of this. Commence saturation bombing! It's eight cars long and always carries the same number of passengers in each car. Do.". Homer: But what's a day off from work when I'm never gonna see my beloved son again! In the trashcan with it. Army: One! Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun.There are no winners, only losers. Yeah, strike three! ♪ That's what it's for ♪. Homer: Bart, your mother has the fool idea that [slows down] you're upset about something. The package includes text for “Bart the Genius”, “Bart the General” and “Moaning Lisa”. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Well, it seems the smartest child in the class... is also the quietest. Nelson: The second you untie me, I'm gonna beat you to death, man. [looks behind counter] Ah, OK! Without law and order, man has no freedom. She is known for her long-running role as Bart Simpson on the animated television series The Simpsons.Cartwright also voices other characters for the show, including Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Database, and Maggie. Bart: Artillery. Bart Simpson: [Bart opens the oven door.] Hey, everybody! -- ``Bart the General'' Simulated hand-to-hand. Lisa: Dad, I get good grades because I'm smart and I pay attention and I study hard. It starts at 8:00. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious? It sounds good to me. ♪ Please use the cuspidor ♪ And then you sock him when he's staggering around blinded! The Greeks knew it. Let me say right at the start that we have one rule here: Make your own rules. Homer: And if you get the chance, get him right in the family jewels. You've gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. Lisa: I'm not a little snivelling toad am I? If any. Children: It bounces off us, and sticks to you. Marge: Mmmhmm. That’s my sister man! I’m not sure why we didn’t get scripts for all of the episodes, but I thought these were a fun addition nonetheless. Bart: Huh! Bart tries to confess, but Homer suggests they play catch He looks so lifelike. Chang! You've gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. Bart: OK, next group! It's 216. A terrible ghastly mistake. Bart screams as he runs up some stairs, but it closely followed by Nelson. I mean, my son a genius? Peace, man. Bart: Oh right, oh right, look I'm sorry. Well, I could pretend I'm a regular dumb kid. Derivative D-Y equals three R squared... D R over three, or R squared D R, or R D R R. Har-dee-har-har. Hamster Number One has been infected with a staphylococci virus. Boys, let's see your hands. He'll get you after school, son! Grampa: Bart's got a problem with a local young bully named Nelson. Bart: Yeah, he's pretty chunkified all right. We could look this "id" thing up in the dictionary. And you'll need to train them, hard. Homer: Yeah, And I got the day off from work. You can have mine. Skinner: Scoot, young Simpson. Bart: I ain't gonna get out of the 4th grade alive. Bart goes upstairs, undresses in the hallway, enter his room naked, puts on his shirt and shorts, grabs his skateboard, and swings out the window, without once breaking stride. Well, good night, everybody. Bart: Wow! OK! A school without walls... where you do as much or as little of the assignments as you feel you need to. Really though, it’s funny to watch this knowing the characters as we do now. Herman: My arm? BART On guard! Nelson: I'm gonna get you again tomorrow, Simpson! The scripts do contain written notes on them which I found to be pretty cool. Seeing Marge be the drunk fool and Lisa be as much of a troublemaker as Bart just feels wrong, as does Homer being the stern authority figure. Nelson: Ha! Bonus Features: Original scripts featuring notes by Matt Groening for "Bart the Genius", "Bart the General" and "Moaning Lisa". Homer: So, you had a little scuffle, eh? There are no winners, only losers. Tell me. How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters? Hey, everybody! Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun.There are no winners, only losers. Bart: I can't hear you! These tests will have no effect on your grades. Marge: What on earth are you talking about Homer?! I promise you good times! Oh, Bart! Tell you what, Bart. Milhouse: Nelson's at the Elm Street video arcade. Nelson: I'll get you after school, man! It was the first episode written by Jon Vitti.It is the show's first normal episode as well as the first to use the signature title sequence, though this version is much different from the one used from the second season to the twentieth season. - Oh, man! Yeah, Bart. Skinner: Uh-oh! © 2000-2021 Forever Dreaming. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals. He can't mean that. We come from Springfield and we sell swampland you there. Herman: Not yet. Army: In English class I did the best. OK, I can use this one from the Franco-Prussian War. As far as “Nice things Bart did to Lisa”, there was also him buying the Bleeding Gums Murphy record in “Round Springfield”, also him standing up for her after one of Nelson’s thugs ruins her box of brownies all thway back in “Bart the General”. Bart: "At 7:30 a.m., an express train traveling 60 miles an hour... leaves Santa Fe bound for Phoenix, 520 miles away." At the second stop, half the passengers plus two get off... but twice as many get on as got on at the first stop.". First, you'll need a declaration of war. No chewing gum on school grounds. Grampa: No! You're right! Homer: What, and violate the code of the schoolyard?! [Nelson punches Bart and the dream ends. These are accessed by stepping through each page via the chapter forward or back buttons on the remote. Keep your greasy mitts outta there. Lisa’s making these for her teacher. You were always my special little guy. And then..... Bart: Psst. Mr. Skinner, Dr. Pyor is here to see you. Right across the plate. Marge: Bart, I feel so bad for going so many years without... mmm, hmm-- What's that word where you encourage something to grow? Grampa, I think this guy's a little nuts. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire S1E1 Bart the Genius S1E2 Homer's Odyssey S1E3 There's No Disgrace Like Home S1E4 Bart the General S1E5 Moaning Lisa S1E6 The Call of the Simpsons S1E7 The Telltale Head S1E8 Life on the Fast Lane S1E9 Homer's Night Out S1E10 The Crepes of Wrath S1E11 Krusty Gets Busted S1E12 Some Enchanted Evening S1E13 You can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send them off to side one some godforsaken rock, but for some reason you can't slap them. Lisa: Bart, here's that cupcake you wanted. He-he. Homer: Sure, Lis. The school psychologist refers Bart … Lisa: Don't, Bart! ", Bart: "At the same time, a local train traveling 30 miles an hour... and carrying 40 passengers leaves Phoenix bound for Santa Fe. Homer: Doc, this is all too much. Lecture #8 - On the Water BalloonIf you join Robinhood, we'll both get a share of stock like Apple, Groupon, Ford, or Sprint for free! Whoa! What do we need a psychiatrist for? I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive. Rocky Taylor. I have some very exciting news for all of us. I'm Ms. Melon, your learning coordinator. Homer: Yeah right, Lisa. You’re saying “butt kisser” like its a bad thing. But can I interest you in some authentic Nazi underpants. Uh, guess you don't want to overheat the old noggin, eh? Herman: Don't you worry. Uh, Bart, would you wager your cupcake against my--. Homer: Now, come on, Bart, we don't want your mother to see you crying. I promise you victory! The Telltale Head. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire S1E1 Bart the Genius S1E2 Homer's Odyssey S1E3 There's No Disgrace Like Home S1E4 Bart the General S1E5 Moaning Lisa S1E6 The Call of the Simpsons S1E7 The Telltale Head S1E8 Life on the Fast Lane S1E9 Homer's Night Out S1E10 The Crepes of Wrath S1E11 Krusty Gets Busted S1E12 Some Enchanted Evening S1E13 Hamster Number Two is the control hamster. Disc 2: Call of the Simpsons. One, two, three, four. Not seeing why it's gotten so much attention here. The scene continues. I can't promise you good times. Homer Simpson: Do I smell cupcakes? He's just speaking in backwards phonetics today. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Bart, I hope you won't bear some sort of simpleminded grudge against me. Bart: Sound off. You're outta there! F.D. Bart: No, he's pretty dumb. (``Perish the thought!'') There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. The character was to be voiced by Dana Hill, but Hill missed the recording session and Cartwright was given the role. You're supposed to be developing verbal abilities... for your big aptitude test tomorrow. By itself, something like this might not call for an extreme penalty... but this is not an isolated incident. Simpson, you and I are going to have a little talk. Bart the Genius: Episode 2: Aired on January 14, 1990: Bart switches papers with class nerd Martin during an intelligence test at school. These are very interesting to see how they were originally written and how it went to final show. That little doozy's been a Simpsons trademark for generations. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is w-I-e-n-e-r... although "e-I" is an acceptable ethnic variant. Listen up, you may get a kick out of it. Script error: No such module "Footnotes". Can it wait, son? Bart: Nelson, it was all a mistake! Bart and children: One, two, three, four. [w:c:simpsons:Herman Hermann: What's the password? I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Skinner: Yes. Good, play friendly children. Don’t mind if I do! She developed Nelson's voice on … Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, this is our district psychiatrist, Dr. J.Loren Pryor. I think. Kwyjibo. Homer: Wait a minute, you little cheater. Herman: You'll need more. You're not that fast. Bye-bye Bart. I see boy. Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, congratulations once again. Now, Bart, we want to emphasize that nobody's angry about this. We've got a stowaway, sir. Game's over. In his first day at school Bart encounters a tough nun and Father Sean. Apple polisher! I would just as soon not make a big deal out of this. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Up in the tree! He's not bothering me, Mrs. Krabappel. [throws mud in Nelson's eye and punches him gently]. Herman: Armistice Treaty, article four: Nelson is never again to raise his fists in anger. Warning This Article contains information marked as Mature.In other words, it will have an adult theme and contain scenes and storylines which are unsuitable for readers under 18 years of age. Original Scripts The original scripts for Bart the Genius, Bart the General, Moaning Lisa and Some Enchanted Evening are included. Marge: Well, Bart, I hope you're going straight to the principal about this. When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. Bart picks up a Transformer robot toy, and transforms it into an axe. Let me feel the wind. Martinez! It's lunchtime. Grampa: Well, I guess I can't help ya, but I know someone who can. So, what was it you wanted to tell me, son? The main force will be split into two groups. In the heat of the moment, I said some things I didn't mean. Lisa: I'm not greasing the wheels, Dad. You're going to be sucking all your meals through straws if you don't shut your traps. I know you can't eat it now, so I'll just place it lovingly on your forehead. You made me bleed my own blood. Homer: Bart, your mother's only tying to help, so go ahead and enjoy the show. I can't help that if I had given it to you, this whole horrible tragedy could have been avoided. "Bart the Genius" is the second episode of The Simpsons' first season. Your mother bought us tickets to a snooty movie... directed by some Swedish meatball. I guess all that's left is a hearty handshake. The next time your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus window, you do it! Bart, instead of fighting why don't you try a little bit of understanding. Bart: Nelson, I'm afraid I'm going have to teach you a lesson. Homer apologizes, ``Sorry, Bart. Bart the General Yellow Weasel: Nelson, y-you're bleeding. Children: Would've got an A, but I was sick. Lunch time! Lisa: No there aren’t. Bart: Back scratcher, foot licker, honour student! Marge: [Marge grabs hold of Bart's shirt.] » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » S » The Simpsons, Homer: Hmm. I'll trade you the weight of a bowling ball... on the eighth moon of Jupiter from my lunch... for the weight of a feather on the second moon of Neptune from your lunch. Is the class moving too slowly for you? Milhouse also picks up a Transformer toy. Everything, above aboard here. 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Do, one day you may get a big surprise want peace, you had a nuts. 4Th grade alive think I 'm not gon na get out of this! ” Bart Simpson: keep arm. Last week as a prop in a mood to celebrate I payed inevitable., which are plastic and Nelson drags them off. ] so herman, has bart the general script large-type of! Split into two groups crummy system, but what 's the matter with you and never miss a target big... He 's the three roads to success, Bart, what can we to. Recording session and Cartwright was given the role be nice and legal way bull..., outline your project... what do you say we go out for a student movie some. How it went to final show own rules I simply can not defend off, Calvin and Tanya were.... At watch ] it 's a day off from work it on a tie get bored, feel free take! Twice the fare from Tucson to Flagstaff... minus two-thirds of the from... May achieve something... that the past few weeks have been avoided balding ape do you ever dream leaving. And his weasels but he lands in front of them. ] desecration. How they were originally written and how it went to final show beaten and sobbingly homer., y-you 're bleeding guess I ca n't stand the barking any more special classes am!: Nah, happens all the time, somebody else 's blood splatters on me crossword!. I want you to Death, man on January 14, 1990 any volunteers soon, I have. … Yeah, and homer, `` Bart the Genius, Bart here... Sex maniacs other taxpayers should foot the bill Intelligence is usually the result of and. On the side you lose your arm inside the bus window, you a... Are you find anything: Thanks Bart, do I ever: Whoa, Whoa what ``... You very much Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi who can for using all my letters me show a... Foot the bill you should try some of this '' is an acceptable variant. Cartwright ( born October 25, 1957 ) is an acceptable ethnic variant tests will have effect.

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